Wishing your life away...
I grew up on a livestock and crop farm in Southern Minnesota. I’m the youngest of 5 kids. Our farm had enough work for about 10 people so there was always plenty to do. I loved having work to do but I also liked looking forward to weekends - especially Friday night when I could go out with friends or on a date or a movie - something - anything for a break.
Sounds normal, right? It is and yet thanks to my Mom I learned an important lesson about “always looking forward”.
I don’t know the exact circumstances, but it was the middle of the week. I could have been stacking hay bales in the summer or cleaning out livestock barns or milking cows or other chores, but I came in from work and said something like “I just can’t wait for Friday night!”. She asked me what that was all about and I told her I just want to have a break and have some fun and do whatever I wanted.
What she said next was pure gold.
“If you’re always wishing for Friday, you’ll wish your life away.” “Huh?” I said. She went on to tell me that though there’s nothing wrong with looking forward to events but living in the future in your mind was a bad idea. She said that if I continued to do that, I’d never enjoyed learning new things happening right now. That I’d miss, the joy of interactions and experiences of each day. Even worse, because this was farm work, I could get hurt if I didn’t focus or perhaps someone else could.
I’ve remembered that little phrase many times over the years when I have found myself saying things like “once this project ends, then…..” Or “I will just grind out this task and then ……”. Subtle but those mindsets are creativity and joy killers.
Over the years I’ve used that little phrase with my own children (all adults now). When my youngest was recently headed to a military assignment away from his home for several months I overheard him telling his older brother about not being able to wait until it was done - planning to just “gut it out”…big brother said - “Hey, If you’re always wishing for Friday, you’ll wish your life away”….made me smile.
Do you enjoy the present - growing and learning or do you find yourself wishing your life away? What helps you to stay in the present?